The river is always there. Life isn’t supposed to be easy. And like the trout that I chase it rarely is. I find my late 20s and early 30s to be mostly class IV and V rapids. Eddy out for a breather here and there. I apologize in advance for all the river and fish references. Like sports ball!
Tis the older millennial curse I guess. A world that’s trying to kill you, passed aside as a well educated snowflake generation, trying to make it as a small business owner, post covid, still in covid, living guide trip to guide trip. It’s not what I set out for but what I was dealt.
Off river life…ya, let’s stay away from that for now. The river is always there when I need it though. When I need to ponder and process, or need to release anger and frustration, when I need to get away from the noise of people, the pressure of being a guide, a good dad, a good boyfriend. When no one else listens….the river does. It takes my focus, stimulates my whole being…if I could be a fish I would.
What it comes right down to is the simplicity of fly fishing…and also its complexity. One of only a few activities I’ve ever done that never leaves me bored. I get bored easy. Sitting still, hanging around, it’s not my default mode. Covid put a damper on it. Now that things seem to be getting better the drive to move is back. Slowly but its back. That drive to work, to play, to do.
I rarely ever find anyone that can keep up. Most days its a solo affair. And I still pursue people that can hang but tis the life of a trout bum river rat to always be wanting more. It makes you greedy, makes you aloof, makes things that others find important…trivial. Not always the easiest way to go about things.
The Season is in its peak, but the world is still trudging to catch up and heal. It’s hard sitting still when things are good. It’s hard to wake up some mornings with no new trip inquires. After 2020 I had hoped things would pick up substantially, unfortunately that’s has not been the case this summer. Fishing is amazing…trips not so much.
It’s exhausting when all you want to do is work and get going but everything around you is still at as ails pace comparatively. Wanting to travel and explore and share new experiences but stuck still. It’s maddening. Hence the snorkeling and fishing.
I can find solace and stretch my mind in or on the water. Being a part of the lives of the things I chase and hold dearly keeps the negative at bay. The river is always there.
I cam show you.
One thought on “River is there”
Good post. I relate in a way – spent a lot (like… a LOT) of time this season exploring new streams. Anywhere I can find water that isn’t easily accessible – with banks that aren’t filled with heifers in lawn chairs fishing catfish and pigging out on the snacks they packed that could easily feed 4 people, crammed in a little plastic cooler.
Hopefully work picks up for you – and I hope as you continue to explore the waterways near you, you find more of the pieces of what you are looking for.
I hope we all do.